My 13 Favorite Things of 2009: Special Prize (Part 15 of 17)

JLA: Cry for Justice (DC): Yup, I’m awarding this Special Prize for The Book I Loved To Hate and using it as the bridge between my favorite things of the year and some of the disappointments that came along with them. Gay… err, Boobs… err, Cry For Justice itself was honestly one of the worst books the year had to offer, yet I looked forward to it and got excited when I knew it was coming out. The panel compositions were illogical, sexist, and confusing. The dialogue was expository, out of character, and hoary. Yet I wanted more of this soapy overwrought stupid melodrama. It was so bad, it was good. The guiltiest of pleasures. It is storytelling derailment personified, full of cheap shock value violence, wantonly sexualized fan service situations, expository flux capacitor overdrive, grossly out of balance mischaracterization, discarded bit player leftovers from elsewhere, and Robinson’s everything-but-the-kitchen-sink-I-think-this-is-what-sells amalgamation of an approach, yet I enjoyed it so much. It’s the same reason I keep watching 90210 despite constantly muttering “this is fucking awful.” I smile incredulously through every predictable bit of hammer-handed foreshadowing, implausibly constructed events, film school formulaic plotting, lame camera placement, sniveling line delivery, and atrocious acting. Cry for Justice deserves a drinking game already. Every time Hal mentions a threesome with Huntress and Lady Blackhawk, drink! Every time someone gets a limb dismembered, drink! Every time a gay character is killed and gets turned into a rug, drink! Every time someone is caught staring at Supergirl’s boobs (easy to do when she has no head), drink! We’ll all get sloppy drunk like that one chic at your Holiday Party.