4.18.12 Reviews (Garbage Edition)

Near Death #5 (Image): I got this for free, so I'm going in totally blind, heck, I don't even know if it's an ongoing or a mini-series. First impressions? Bland art, stiff dialogue, and the story involves a plane (maybe?) or something that hit a building? Oh no, wait, it was an explosion and a girl got hurt. The main guy is sad about this, but doesn’t know what to do! He's on the run from the cops! But he has answers! Honestly, not much clue what's going on. It feels like a very generic Hollywood thriller pitch, with stock tough guy types, attempts to root things in familial drama to make you care, but ultimately it never gets picked up by the network. I don't know, any book that cites Jon Sable: Freelance as inspiration reveals its boring Comico Comics era influences. At least Jon Sable had sexy women (by 1980’s standards anyway) and sexy guns (like the infamous Mauser machine pistols). This book doesn't have any of that. It’s not awful. It’s not good. It’s just there. Shoot, it doesn’t even warrant my time finding a picture online to accompany this. Grade C.

Stieg Larsson’s The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo: A Graphic Novel: Volume One: Free Special Edition Preview (DC/Vertigo): While it does win the award for most ludicrously long title, it doesn’t win at much else. I have not read the books, I have not seen the movie. I remember liking Leonardo Manco’s art years ago (was it on Deathlok?), but here it just looks “okay,” as if it’s lost some of the stylish qualities I recall liking and has just softened to be a little more homogenous. The end result of this free preview? I don’t really know what’s going on other than WEIRD LADY IS APPARENTLY GOOD AT HER INVESTIGATIVE TYPE JOB(?). All of the other disparate elements don’t quite coalesce, and I tuned out around ¾ of the way into it, lost in a sea of words and characters who all looked vaguely the same, except for something about WEINER-STRUMMING, which sounds vaguely erotic. Also, if it’s free, then why did my LCS try unsuccessfully to charge 93 cents plus tax to get to an even $1? It says free right there on the cover and right there in the actual title of the book. Grade D.